goodness knows

I am a southern girl, born and raised in the heart of Alabama. When I was a child, blackberries grew in the woods across from my home and I ran barefoot on red dirt roads and bliss was not getting caught in the brambles — or being able to capture the most tadpoles. If I was bad, I was spanked with wooden spoons, which stopped me from being bad pretty early in life. I am from a big family and we are blessed. With this upbringing, I am fortunate enough to have been raised in a church that spoke the truth even if I squirmed and I was very young when I came into my faith in the God who has never ever ever let me down. I am blessed.
When I was a tweenie my mom (the amazing teacher that she is) read me the proverbs every single morning, so much so that I have many of them accidentally written on my heart. Because of the proverbs and the story of King Solomon, I remember praying for wisdom for the first time around the age of 13. I remember distinctly someone telling me that King Solomon had been given the greatest gift when he prayed for wisdom and it was granted him. I have prayed for general wisdom for almost 10 years now. Every single time I pray for it, I hear a little girl in the back of my mind say “this prayer is not for you.” You see, I believed that God would never give a gift like wisdom to a girl who will never be more than this, I am no king telling women to split a child in two, nor am I one whose life will be documented in the book that speaks life. I am no candidate for wisdom. I am far too ordinary for wisdom like that. Until today I have laughed a little at myself every time I say that prayer — it’s like being 8 and asking for a pony for Christmas — we all know its not coming, but still we ask, just in case it could. I am far too little to be wise. I have always asked anyway. Today I stopped laughing.
Please hear me correctly, I do not think that I am wise by any stretch, I am a fairly simple being I think, in the end. And I have no idea what story I am meant to tell. But I do know that God never thought of me as ordinary or too small. I don’t have the life knowledge to be wise for everyone — and if I did, I’m not entirely sure I have the guts to be able to use that wisdom to uplift and help others.But I do know that my prayer isn’t a funny one. To pray for wisdom in a life that is a tumult of staggering “what-if’s” is a humble prayer, but if answered, could be vastly helpful at least to this one short little girl.
Maybe one day I could get around to being wise, I think that it takes time though — something I lack not at all. And I know that wisdom mostly comes the hard way, and I’m willing to learn. I don’t think God takes my prayer lightly — I don’t think he did when I was young either. I think that we all have attributes we’d love to have pinned to our names and the ability to use them throughout our lives, and I think God gives us those desires to be of our hearts, and eventually they say that God wants to give you the desires of your true heart — not the pony or a zillion dollars, but the real things that will count towards eternity.

Today a very old friend told me to start writing again, I needed your words badly, thank you.

love and joy


1 Comment

Filed under Uncategorized

One response to “goodness knows

  1. trustbelievefaithhopelove

    You are wiser than you know sparrow, you are always an old soul, just sometimes filled with young hopes.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s