Can I just tell you something

and we can all just stand around and remember that we’re human together? It’s really nice for me to remember that we’re all human — and together.
By the way, I don’t mean “human” like “we’re-only-human” and make it an excuse to for our failings, even though I actually love that phrase a lot on a lot of days. I just mean that we’re here, cuddled up around our computers enjoying the fact that we have a moment to just be in our own corner place, where we are warm, where the wind doesn’t blow through the cracks and where even if the trees fall down outside, we probably wont have to handle that tonight.

I’m curled up on my couch waiting for the mister to come home from work. I don’t mind, he’s waited for me to come home to him every night this week and never complained (even though I did a lot). I was thinking, because I’ve been offered a job lately that could mean a lot of money that we could put away for rainier days… and the funny thing is, what they stressed at the job was first that they loved me — I’m their new up-and-comer, I was made for this, I was perfect, they are so excited to have me on their team, oh — and in six months, if I stay on track here, I should be making upwards of (whistle). I’m not taking the job. I don’t think anyway. They told me to take a long weekend and decide (who even actually says that).
But here’s my beef with it: every night starting next month, I would be expected to stay until 7pm. on Saturdays I would be expected to work just as long. Sundays would be my free days. During the week my time with the Lance Corporal would be limited to 45 to 90 minutes in the evenings and 15 minutes in the mornings. And then Sundays. Soon, though, sometimes around the fall… I would be able to make my own schedule, chill, have benefits, and enjoy it. My only actual issue is that the Lance Corporal will be deploying again “sometime around fall”. I would be spending every second of the time I so covet when he is away — working a job for money that wont bring him back because I’m feeling blue.
There is no dollar sign for quality time with the one you were made for.  I know this is stupid to say in an economy where jobs are as scarce as winning lottery tickets, but there will be a job then (whenever “then” is) and I am more than willing to skip out on the $500 pair of shoes my boss owns to spend every second of opportunity I have with my husband who wont be with me this time next year.

The main thing is, I can’t decide if I’m the one whose crazy… or if it’s everyone else. Because I’ve gotten a lot of crazy looks from co-workers today… no one passes up this sort of opportunity they say. Guess I do today. Maybe I’ll have time for money tomorrow.

That wasn’t even the rant I was intending on spilling when I asked if I could tell you something…


more tomorrow. I think (I have a weekend to contemplate).

love and chilly weather here



1 Comment

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One response to “Can I just tell you something

  1. trustbelievefaithhopelove

    Maybe we found something better for you tonight ❤

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